Margaret Wolfe Hungerford said, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” It was her way of saying that we see what we wish to see in others. Every living human being is a complex combination of feelings, emotions, and thoughts — some good, some bad. Your impression of another depends far more upon you and your expectations of that person. If you believe someone is good, you will find good qualities. If you don’t, you won’t. When you are yourself a positive person, you tend to find positive qualities in others. As you work to develop good, constructive habits to improve yourself continually, make it a practice to look for those same qualities in others. It’s easy to spot another’s shortcomings, but when you identify the good in others and congratulate them upon their positive achievements, you will make friends on whom you can always depend — both in good times and bad.

Examine the lives of successful people, and you will find that they have paid a price that is in direct proportion to the amount of success they have earned. Close examination will almost always reveal years of study and preparation before great success is achieved. This principle is consistent in virtually every field of individual achievement — in the arts, medicine, science, or business. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily. As you consider your own goals, also consider what you are willing to sacrifice for what you expect to receive. You should be prepared to give generously of your time and talents long before expecting a return on your investment. Many “overnight successes” labored in obscurity for many years before they were finally recognized for their achievements.

Opportunity has a queer way of stalking the person who can recognize it and is ready to embrace it.

It is a curious quirk of human nature that some people can see opportunities, while others only see problems. When you train your mind to seek out opportunities, you will find that every day literally presents you with more opportunities than you can take advantage of. They will be all around you. Instead of your seeking opportunities, they will seek you out. Your biggest problem will be choosing the best ones. The first step in making sure you are ready to recognize opportunities when they occur is to make sure you have a clear understanding of your own core competencies. Realistically assess your strengths and weaknesses as though you were reviewing the credentials of a total stranger. Identify what areas you’re best in and those where you need improvement. Work on your weaknesses and build upon your strengths so that when you recognize opportunities you are prepared to capitalize upon them.

 

Those who do no more than they are paid for have no real basis for requesting more pay because they are already getting all they deserve to earn.

If you look around you, it will be apparent that there are two types of people in the world. There are those who say, “When this company decides to pay me what I’m worth, then I will do what they want me to do.” The second is the person who says, “I’m going to be the best I can be because that’s the kind of person I am. I also know that if I consistently give more than expected, I will eventually be rewarded for my efforts.” It is easy to see that the positive person contributes most to the organization. Yet, very few people are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve success. Make sure you’re a member of that group.

 

Most failures could have been converted into successes if someone had held on another minute or made more effort.

When you have the potential for success within you, adversity and temporary defeat only help you prepare to reach great heights of success. Without adversity, you would never develop the qualities of reliability, loyalty, humility, and perseverance that are so essential to enduring success. Many people have escaped the jaws of defeat and achieved great victories because they would not allow themselves to fail. When your escape routes are all closed, you will be surprised how quickly you will find the path to success.

The imagination is the workshop of the soul, where are shaped all the plans for individual achievement.

Before you can build anything worthwhile, you must first create it in your mind. Your mind is not constrained by physical limitations or boundaries. In the workshop of your mind, you can visualize things that have never been. It is said that Albert Einstein visualized how the universe might look if he were riding astride a beam of light through infinity. Then he worked out the mathematics to support his theory of relativity. You can use the power of your imagination to visualize solutions to difficult problems, to develop new ideas, and to see yourself achieving the goals you have set for yourself.

 

Faith is a combination of thoughts and actions.

When you apply your faith in yourself, your faith in your fellow man, and your faith in God, the result is a positive course of action that when persistently followed will almost always lead to success. When you believe in your ideas and in your abilities, and you trust in the Infinite Intelligence of the universe, you know that your thoughts and deeds will ultimately lead to a successful conclusion. You cannot fail.

Happiness is found in doing — not merely in possessing.

It’s true: money can’t buy happiness. Most of us are motivated by aspirations of the lifestyle we desire for ourselves and our families, not by the physical possessions — homes, vacations, automobiles, etc. When you recognize this fact, you will know that you must constantly “raise the bar” to encourage yourself to reach higher goals. Your goals should include the possessions that you desire, but as former Apple Computer chairman and CEO John Sculley said, “Success is a journey, not a destination. Make sure you enjoy the trip.”

 

Willpower is the outgrowth of definiteness of purpose expressed through persistent action, based on personal initiative.

Envious people sometimes attribute success primarily to luck. Nothing could be more wrong. As coach Darryl Royal once observed, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Success occurs when you have a definite purpose for your life and you take the initiative to follow through with action. You may make mistakes occasionally — everyone does — but any action is far better than doing nothing.

You can do it if you believe you can.

It’s called a “self-fulfilling prophecy” when something occurs because we believe it will. The mind is constructed so that it constantly seeks to bring into physical reality the things it thinks about most. Most of us will never realize the tremendous potential we possess — because we are unwilling to believe that we can accomplish things that others believe are impossible. “Impossible” jobs require more effort and greater concentration, but when they are completed, the rewards — both financial and psychic — are commensurate with the effort required. You may not be able to achieve everything you’d like, but you won’t accomplish anything unless you believe you can.

Those who create good fellowship among others will never be short of friends.

If you have a friend who goes out of his way to help cement friendships between others, consider yourself fortunate indeed. In today’s frantic, mobile, throwaway society, such individuals are exceedingly rare. With the demands placed upon us by our careers, our families, and the hectic pace of daily life, most of us have little time for ourselves, and even less for our friends. Yet we know that friendship freely given and gratefully received is one of life’s greatest gifts.

 

Remember that the faults of humankind are pretty evenly distributed among all of us.

Why can we so easily overlook in ourselves the faults we are quick to spot in others? It is easy to be objective when it comes to criticizing our friends, family members, and business associates, but it is far more difficult to be honest about our own shortcomings. Only when we recognize that we are all human, with the same faults and failings, do we begin to develop that wonderful quality of tolerance that enables us to accept others as they are and ask nothing in return. Replacing faultfinding with “goodfinding” is never easy. But when you become one who always compliments instead of criticizes, you become the kind of friend we would all like to have.

 

If you don’t know what you want, don’t say you never had a chance.

The people who complain the loudest about never having an opportunity in life are usually the ones who always have a ready excuse for their failures. Nothing is ever their fault; they are victims of their heritage, their environment, insufficient education, or any number of other factors that they perceive as placing them at a disadvantage. If you look hard enough, you can always find reasons for not attempting something or not sticking with the job to the end. Successful people, though, are not excuse-makers. They take responsibility for their actions, they set goals, and they assume responsibility for their achievement. Where others see despair, they see hope. They approach every situation with enthusiasm, confident in the knowledge that nothing is impossible for those who have a Positive Mental Attitude.

You cannot make all people like you, but you can rob them of a sound reason for disliking you.

Even the most popular people have their detractors. Because we are all different, with differing interests and personalities, it is simply impossible for anyone to be beloved by every individual who knows him or her. If your mission in life is to make everyone like you, great disappointment is in store. But if you are always kind and considerate in your dealings with others, they may not like you, but it will be impossible for them to dislike you. You can cement your relationships with others by making sure that you are a person of character, one who is predictably honest, straightforward, and ethical. When you follow such a code of conduct, you may not be sought out by others who do not share your value, but you will be respected by all who know you. And in the end, self-respect will mean far more to you than mere popularity.

Your own mental attitude is your real boss

While your time and your labor may be subject to the demands of your employer and others, your mind is the one thing that cannot be controlled by anyone but you. The thoughts you think, your attitude toward your job, and what you are willing to give in exchange for the compensation you are paid are entirely up to you. It is up to you to determine whether you will be a slave to a negative attitude or the master of a positive one. Your attitude, your only master in life, is entirely within your control. When you control your attitude toward events, you control the eventual implication of those events.

If you have more enemies than friends, the odds are a thousand to one you have earned them.

Abraham Lincoln once observed, “You may fool all the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all the time.” Regardless of how cleverly you package yourself, others will eventually see through your masquerade and recognize you for what you really are. As a general rule, people will accept you for what you say you are until you prove yourself to be otherwise. Don’t take advantage of the goodwill of others. Make friends, not enemies.

When you have talked yourself into what you want, stop talking and begin saying it with your actions.

Persuading yourself that you can do something is a strong beginning. Next develop a sound plan and get into action. The longer you delay, the harder it will be to begin. Seldom is a plan perfect. If you have a clear vision of your goal and a plan that is flexible enough to allow you to deal with unexpected obstacles or take advantage of unforeseen opportunities, don’t delay another minute. Just getting into action — even if you do have to make adjustments later — will help focus your mind and channel your energies in the direction of your objective.

If you don’t know why you failed, you are no wiser than when you began.

There’s an old adage that those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So it is with our failures. Unless we learn from our mistakes, we are likely to repeat them until we learn from such experiences and correct our course — or give up and accept temporary defeat as permanent failure. Every setback you encounter in life contains valuable information that, if you study it carefully, will eventually lead you to success. Without adversity, you would never develop wisdom, and without wisdom, success would be short-lived indeed. When you make a mistake, say, “That’s good! I’ve gotten that out of the way. I will never do that again.” You will no doubt make other mistakes, but they won’t bother you nearly as much when you treat them as learning experiences.

Where will you be ten years from now if you keep on going the way you are going?

Many people fail to realize that big success is the result of little successes achieved, often over a very long period of time. Truly successful people are long-term thinkers. They know that they must build upon each achievement and constantly learn new and better ways of doing things. A regular review of your progress is an essential part of goal-setting. A goal is little more than a wish unless it has a timetable for completion. Make sure your plan for your life includes short-, medium-, and long-term goals. Revise your goals as circumstances dictate, check them off when they are completed, and set new and bigger goals for yourself as you grow. And take time to reflect often to make sure you are on the right course — for you.

Who told you it couldn’t be done, and what great achievements has he performed that qualified him to set up limitations for you?

You will find as you go through life that those who give advice most freely are precisely the individuals who are least qualified to do so. Busy, successful people don’t have an interest in telling you how to live your life. They are busy living their own. Failures or mediocre people have all the time in the world. They also delight in seeing you fail, and are quick to say “I told you so” when you experience a temporary setback. If someone tells you that what you are attempting to achieve is impossible or not worth the effort, take a close look at them and what they have accomplished with their lives. The chances are good that you will find they haven’t done much. Successful people are optimistic people. They have the habit of success because they learned long ago to listen to themselves and not to those who would like to see them fail.

It you haven’t the willpower to keep your physical body in repair, you also lack the power of will to maintain a positive mental attitude in other important circumstances that control your life.

A Positive Mental Attitude is not developed in a single decision to replace negative thoughts with their positive equivalent. It is a sustained commitment that requires personal discipline, the same kind of discipline that is required to stay in shape and maintain your physical health. It is a commitment that must be reinforced daily, or it is soon forgotten and cast upon the scrap heap of good intentions. When you take charge of your fate and determine that you will live positively in every aspect of your life — physical and mental — you will receive an extra benefit. Positive physical conditioning will reinforce your Positive Mental Attitude, and your positive attitude will help you stay in better physical condition.

 

Your mental attitude determines what sort of friends you attract.

If you want to be a positive, successful person, be sure you choose your friends carefully. Positive friends and role models will have a positive effect upon you, while negative friends will soon kill your initiative. Do not allow yourself to be lulled into complacency by the masses who believe mediocrity is an acceptable alternative. Focus on the possibilities for success, not the potential for failure. When you doubt yourself, talk the situation over with a positive, supportive friend. Everyone needs a boost now and again; make sure your friends are positive, success-oriented people who always build you up, not negative thinkers who always seem to find a way to tear you down.

Politeness usually begins at home or it doesn’t begin at all.

Politeness to others is usually born out of respect for the individual, which you learn as a child. When you are treated with respect by other members of the family, you learn to respect them as well. The self-esteem that results from being recognized as a unique person by the people who matter most to you helps you develop the confidence necessary to succeed later in life. Politeness and consideration for others are habits that — once developed — usually stay with you for a lifetime. While common courtesy may seem relatively insignificant in the grand scheme of things, it is a reflection of more basic values. More important, if you develop the habit of respecting others, you are likely to command respect from them.

 

The mind grows only through use, and it atrophies through idleness.

Just as the physical body becomes strong through regular exercise, so does the mind require regular use to remain strong. Make sure that your personal development plan includes plenty of mental stimulation. One of the best ways to develop your imagination and visualization skills is through reading. As you read, your mind translates the words into images that help you better understand the concepts about which you are reading. Become a voracious reader. Read newspapers, trade magazines, self-help books, and novels; all will contribute to your store of knowledge and to your ability to visualize and more effectively use your imagination.

Take possession of your own mind, and you may soon make life pay off on your terms.

Your mind is unquestionably your most valuable possession. You may lose every material thing you own, but knowledge can never be taken from you. With it, you can earn a new fortune, build a new home, and buy anything you truly desire. No one else can control your thoughts; even the cruelest tyrant cannot force you to think about something you refuse to accept. When you make a deliberate decision to take control of your mind and feed it positive, constructive thoughts, you are on your way to taking control of your life. The thoughts you allow to dominate your mind will determine what you will get from life.

 

It isn’t defeat, but rather your mental attitude toward it, that whips you.

There are many things in life that you cannot control, but you can always control your attitude toward them. Defeat is never permanent unless you allow it to be so. When you have a positive attitude, you will recognize failure for the impostor that it is and realize that it is really a learning experience, a valuable lesson that will help you succeed with the next attempt. Ask yourself: What could I have done differently that would have altered the outcome? What can I do in the future to minimize problems and mistakes? What did I learn from this experience that I can put to good use next time? If you approach obstacles and setbacks with a positive attitude, you will be surprised how quickly you can turn defeat into victory.

Trying to get without first giving is as fruitless as trying to reap without having sown.

The Bible states that we reap what we sow. The most fertile soil in the world is barren unless seeds have been properly planted, cultivated, and nurtured. The relationship between giving and getting is constant in everything you do. To succeed in any endeavor, you must first invest a generous portion of your time and talents if you expect ever to earn a return on your investment. You have to give before you get. It’s all a matter of attitude. You may occasionally be disappointed if you are not rewarded for your efforts, but if you demand payment for your services before you render them, you can expect a lifetime of disappointment and frustration. If you cheerfully do your best before asking for any compensation, you can expect a bountiful harvest of the greatest rewards life has to offer.

 

Your reputation is what people think you are; your character is what you are.

You want your reputation and your character to match, but concentrate on your character. You may be able to fool others about the kind of person you really are for a time, but it seldom lasts for long. The surest way to make sure your character and your reputation are the same is to live your life in such a way that nothing you do would embarrass you if it were printed on the front page of the newspaper. Good character means not ever taking ethical shortcuts, even though everyone else may be doing so. You build good character by doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

Clarence Saunders made millions by borrowing the self-help cafeteria idea for the grocery business and naming it Piggly Wiggly. Imagination pays!

The founder of the Piggly Wiggly grocery chain was a low-level employee in a corner grocery when he visited a cafeteria and got the idea that the same techniques could be applied to the grocery business. He was ridiculed by experts, but he was convinced that the idea was a good one. Saunders persevered, and his adaptation of the self-service idea to the grocery business led him to become the father of the modern supermarket. It is often true that a great idea alone is not enough to achieve success. Implementation may require as much as or more imagination than coming up with the idea originally. Those who study such things, however, report that when you have a really good idea, even if you can’t prove it, you will intuitively know that it is good. If you’re convinced, stick with it. Others will eventually recognize the value of your idea.